The AG’s investigative report encouraged by Cuomo “to prove his innocence” was finally issued Monday. The 165-page document, after interviewing the 11 women Cuomo is alleged to have sexually harassed and 179 witnesses is damning. The conclusion is no surprise. NY Governor Cuomo sexually harassed multiple women in violation of state and federal laws, including his own office’s written policies. His inner circle fostered a culture of fear and intimidation by allowing inappropriate flirtations and other sexually suggestive and gender-based comments by the Governor to continue, and complaints regarding same to be dismissed. 

The next day, Cuomo issues a lengthy 15 minute video response—a text book example of how not to respond. Let’s examine why.

Cuomo continues to deny committing sexual harassment:   

“I want you to hear it directly from me. I never touched anyone inappropriately, or made inappropriate sexual advances,” adding that at 63 he has lived his entire adult life in public view and that is not who he is. 

The report concludes otherwise. According to certain complainants, Cuomo on multiple occasions, grabbed or groped their breasts; ran and pressed his hands on various parts of their bodies, including their stomachs, backs and legs; made sexually suggestive and gender-based comments about their appearance and asked them about their love lives. He also told women they “looked great for (their) age,” or asked them what they thought about monogamy, and told them they “weren’t ready” for work if they weren’t dressed nicely or wearing makeup. 

According to Cuomo, his complainants are liars, and he did not sexually harass or assault them. The report itself is faulty and follows a political agenda. 

Complainants were confused about his intentions:  

Of the 11 women who made allegations, Cuomo states one bothered him the most - Charlotte Bennett. He does not believe he sexually harassed her and wants to explain any comments he made. 

Cuomo claims Bennett disclosed to him that she was a survivor of sexual assault and came to work for him, given the progress his office had made with respect to sexual harassment laws and #MeToo. Because of his personal experience with a family member (he does not name) who was struggling with the aftermath of a sexual assault, Cuomo believed he could help Bennett “with her pain” based on what he learned with his own family. His goal was to help her, but instead, Bennett and her attorney, “… read into comments that I made and drew inferences that I never meant.” "Simply put, they heard things that I just didn't say."

Sexual assault is traumatizing for any victim. Even if you were to buy that he was trying to help her (which we do not believe based on the details of his alleged interactions with Bennett in the report), he should not have engaged but instead referred her to available resources or notified the human resources department to help her. He should have kept his relationship with her purely professional.

Cuomo's denials continue:

As for the woman who claims Cuomo groped her in his office and has remained anonymous, Cuomo says that never happened. He is calling her a liar. He has since been alerted that she will file a legal complaint for damages, which he welcomes. Cuomo says a court of law should decide issues like this, not newspapers or biased reviews, or as he later notes, politics. 

Cuomo defends his ‘public displays of affection’ as appropriate: 

A few complainants took offense to Cuomo's touching their face or kissing them on the cheek or forehead. Cuomo's response? He does that all of the time with everyone, old, young, black, white, straight, and LBGTQ, influential people, strangers, and friends—a show of affection he learned from his parents. His video continues with numerous evidentiary pictures taken from public appearances. These public displays of affection, Cuomo says, are meant to convey warmth, empathy, and his appreciation of others, adding, "I do kiss people on the forehead. I do kiss people on the cheek. I do kiss people on the hand. I do embrace people."

Cuomo says his behavior is ok because he does that to everyone, and he has been doing it privately and publicly most of his adult life. 

Cuomo does not understand that certain behavior and touching are not appropriate, especially if made without consent. Everyone has a different threshold of what might be ok, and it is always safer to ask for permission first. Any kissing (including on someone's cheek, head, or neck), touching inappropriate places (including someone's waist during a photo opportunity), someone's leg, a bareback, or a lingering touch on someone's body is not appropriate if made without consent. It does not matter if you do it frequently or that no one has objected during all of that time.

Cuomo says he "slips" on occasion using the terms sweetheart, darling, or honey, banters with people and may tell jokes "some better than others." He says he does so to put people at ease, make them smile, or show appreciation, and that he has always been the same, in public and in private, for 40 years. His comment that he "slips" on occasion admits that using those terms is not appropriate. 

Is he saying that it is ok for him since he holds a public position with influence? 

Cuomo does not apologize and hold himself accountable: 

He is only sorry for how his communications and actions were “perceived” or “misunderstood”. He says, none of his behavior was meant to offend, arguing that his complainants did not really feel harmed or violated. According to experts, this is typical for sexual harassers. They tell their victims how they should have felt, turning the tables to make the violator look like a victim.

In his statement, Cuomo says he now understands that there may be generational and cultural perspectives that he did not fully appreciate and has now learned from this experience. His office has hired an expert that will publish a new sexual harassment policy that will serve as a model and his entire team, including him, will receive training. He says he accepts responsibility and will be making changes. 

First, Cuomo is using generational and cultural perspectives to excuse his behavior. Cuomo is out of touch. Despite his age, this type of behavior has never been ok, and sexual harassment is not a cultural issue. Second, the #MeToo movement shined a much-needed light on a severe problem that has finally allowed for new protective laws to be considered and enacted, although much more is required. Cuomo was an active participant in these efforts. There are countless press clippings of Cuomo supporting #TimesUp and #MeToo causes. How does he not understand what constitutes sexual harassment or assault? He is an intelligent guy. We are confident that Cuomo's prior sexual harassment training mandated by his office included inappropriate behavior examples.

Finally, Cuomo has three adult daughters. Surely, like many of us with daughters, there have been plenty of #MeToo discussions in his household. There are awful examples of violators in the news every single day. Is Cuomo not paying attention? The details of this story are not unique and are repetitive of many prior violators and their office practices. Why are companies and violators not taking note?

Cuomo claims a toxic work environment is required: 

At the end of his video, Cuomo addresses complaints that relate to allegations of a toxic work environment laden with fear and intimidation. According to Cuomo, his office is not a typical government office. It is a demanding place to work, and they work very, very hard. The stakes his office deals with are high (including sometimes, life and death), and they must get the job done. It is not a place for the faint-hearted. So, in essence, according to Cuomo, it is appropriate to treat people with disrespect, bully, incite fear, and intimidate. It is appropriate to aid and abet bad behavior and foster a toxic, unhealthy work environment—to get things done.

Cuomo’s conclusion: 

In summary, Cuomo believes that politics are in play and it is ugly business. He will fight until the end to get “good things done” for the people of NY. In his view, the people of NY can see through the politics. He adds, those who are using this moment to seek political gain or publicity (implying the AG, those demanding his impeachment or resignation, and his complainants), “are discrediting the legitimate sexual harassment victims the law is seeking to protect.” In other words, Cuomo did nothing wrong. All of his opponents are out to get him.

Shameful and very disappointing. 

Cuomo closes the video with an appeal to New Yorkers and a reminder of how much they have overcome, together, to get through the pandemic and how much more must be done. He wants to keep his job.

Author’s Conclusion: 

The Governor's office implemented sexual harassment policies and procedures that should have required regular training of all employees, including Cuomo and his most inner circle. Complaints should have been immediately addressed, with further proper and special training for Cuomo regarding his inappropriate behavior and bullying communications. Regular interactive training sessions and targeted corrective action involving Cuomo might have vetted and resolved any ongoing office culture issues. In our book 'Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,' we address this topic in great detail to help the human resources department address and process complaints with diligence, better communication, and transparency. Our book also provides real-world examples and essential communication tools—to help women combat this type of behavior as a victim and to help men and women when they are bystanders. If we can resolve bad behavior in the moment, whether as a victim or a bystander, with good communication and creating a fruitful learning experience for the violator, we might avoid filing of complaints and a toxic work environment.

As for Cuomo, he either received lousy advice, or his ego is preventing him from self-evaluation. Had Cuomo held himself accountable from the beginning (especially as complaints were mounting) and apologized sincerely and publicly for his behavior and for making his complainants uncomfortable, he may have avoided the land-slide that ensued.

Cuomo should have asked for forgiveness and committed to retaking proper training to change his ways and then kept the public informed on his progress. He should have promised his daughters and complainants that he would do everything necessary to become a better man, with honesty and integrity. He may have avoided the lengthy and expensive investigation. Maybe his complainants would have forgiven him. 

Instead, with every denial Cuomo made came more complaints and the investigation he encouraged. Now Cuomo is facing criminal legal action, potential impeachment, and calls for his resignation.

We should reward #beupstanding and encourage companies to support #metoo and to handle sexual harassment violations with transparency, respect, responsibility and accountability. Only then will we move the needle and #changetheculture to a more healthy and prosperous environment, free from #abuse and #workplacesexualharassment. What will you do to effect meaningful change? #TimesUp. Let’s #playnice. For more on this and other topics, please visit us at www.thesandboxseries.com.