What I Wish I Knew at 25 About the Importance

of Performance Reviews

When I was 25, working in a male-dominated workplace, I treated my performance review like something to survive instead of something I could actually use to grow my career. Three decades later, after working under mostly male leadership in commercial real estate finance law, here’s the truth I wish someone had told me:

👉 Your performance review is not just feedback. It’s a strategic career tool.

It’s your opportunity to:

•  strengthen your professional reputation,
•  advocate for yourself,
•  negotiate your value, and
•  clarify the expectations you’ll be judged on next year.

Most women are never taught this. And as a result, they are under-mentored, under-sponsored, and often under-promoted.

Why Your Performance Review Matters More Than You Think

A performance review is one of the few moments where leadership steps back and evaluates you in a formal, documented way. What you say in that room becomes part of your professional record.

This means your review directly impacts:

•  your salary,
•  your raise,
•  your bonuses,
•  your promotion track, and
•  your visibility within the company.

➡️ If you don’t take control of the narrative, someone else will.

What I Wish I Knew at 25 (So You Don’t Make the Same Mistakes)

1. You must document your wins all year long

My male colleagues were excellent at this. I was not.  I worked incredibly hard, but I didn’t capture any of it. I assumed leadership saw it, remembered it, and valued it. They didn’t.

Do NOT walk into your review empty handed. All year long, keep a running list of your successes :

• completed projects that were noteworthy and successful,
• above-and-beyond contributions (working outside your comfort zone, helping colleagues in other section with successful outcomes),
• taking on new job functions above your pay grade as a result of employees who left and were not replaced, which expanded your role and your responsibilities, and should trigger a new title and expanded salary considerations and a bonus,
• metrics you influenced (revenue, efficiency, or reputation),
• positive client or colleague feedback,
• new skills or certifications you used to educate members in or outside of your section for the benefit and growth of the company, ways you helped solve problems.

➡️ This becomes your evidence, your Success Folder. YOU WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND AND ADDED VALUE FOR THE BENEFIT AND SUCCESS OF THE COMPANY - A POSITIVE IMPACT WHICH DESERVES TO BE REWARDED.

Human memory fades. Documentation doesn’t.

2. Your boss may not know everything you’ve done

Women often downplay their achievements because they fear appearing boastful. Men rarely have this hesitation. I learned this the hard way. 

Leaders often see only 20–30% of your actual contributions unless you communicate regularly.

This isn’t bragging. Your male colleagues boast their achievements every chance they get.

Here’s the truth:

👉 Advocating for yourself is not arrogance. It is professional responsibility.

👉 If you don’t speak about your contributions, others will fill in the silence and maybe not in your favor.

➡️ Your review is the perfect time to articulate your value clearly and confidently.

It’s accurate reporting of your value. Record-keeping. The foundation of your review.

Without documentation → performance is subjective.

With documentation → performance is undeniable.

3. The performance review is the place to advocate for career growth

If your role has expanded, or you’re performing above your level, this is where you connect the dots:

“My responsibilities now include X, Y, and Z. Based on this expanded role beyond my title, I’d like to discuss a compensation review and promotion path to the next level.”

Women are often socialized to wait to be recognized.

Men ask.  And they get promoted earlier because of it.

➡️ If your job has outgrown your title, your review is your opportunity to realign your compensation, title, or both.

4. Negative feedback isn’t a career death sentence, it’s a roadmap

Early in my career, constructive criticism felt personal.  Now I see it as the cheat code for career growth.

When you hear tough feedback, the most productive mindset is curiosity, not defensiveness.

First, stay calm, attentive, and professional. Thank the reviewer for his or her feedback. Then, ask:

“What specific behavior should I adjust?”  This helps separate useful guidance from vague criticism and helps you focus only on what you can actually change.

“How did this affect the team, deadlines, or clients?”  Understanding impact empowers you to improve quickly.

“Is there a gap between what I’m doing and what people see or understand?”  This awareness helps you adjust communication, visibility, or collaboration.

“What does success look like to you going forward?” This invites suggestions for improvement that might be helpful to your success, including tools, training, or clarity of expectations—and turns feedback into a roadmap.

“Can we schedule a follow-up in 90 days so I can demonstrate improvements?” This exhibits a genuine interest to improve and exceed expectations. 

This shows maturity, resilience, and leadership potential and will be remembered.

5. The performance review is a conversation - not a verdict. 

•  Ask questions.
•  Engage.
•  Clarify expectations.
•  Explore growth paths.

➡️ Treat the review as a strategy session about your future, not a test of your past. Here are some other  excellent questions to include:

“What would demonstrating readiness for the next level look like?”

“Which projects would help me grow fastest?”

“How can I have more impact on the team?”

“What would success in the next six months look like to you?”

Leaders notice employees who take ownership of their development.

➡️ Bottom Line: Your Performance Review Is Your Career Checkpoint.

Conclusion: Take your performance review seriously and be prepared because it shapes the opportunities you receive. Practice with a trusted friend or your favorite mirror. This annual conversation can shape your next 12 months and your long-term trajectory.

👉Treat it like the strategic opportunity it is. If you’re ready to stand out, showcase your value, and navigate your review with confidence, this is where it starts.

If you found this helpful…

I wrote Play Smart: Playground Strategies for Success in a Male-Dominated Workplace to help women do exactly this, advocate for themselves, negotiate strategically, and thrive in workplaces not designed for them.