HOW WOMEN CAN PREPARE FOR PERFORMANCE REVIEWS TO ADVANCE THEIR CAREERS

Most women struggle in performance reviews not because they lack ability but because the process was never designed with them in mind. But with the right preparation, you can turn your review into a powerful tool for visibility, recognition, and career advancement.

After 30 years practicing law in a high-pressure, male-dominated field, I’ve seen one pattern repeat itself every single review cycle:

👉 Highly capable, hard-working women unintentionally sabotage their own performance reviews not because they lack skill, but because they’ve been conditioned to approach the process the wrong way.

Here are the most common mistakes women make in performance reviews and how you can better prepare to take back your power, your narrative, and your career trajectory:

Mistake #1: Believing Your Work Will Speak for Itself

This is the single biggest career myth women buy into. Women are taught to:

• keep their heads down
• work hard
• stay humble
• let their results “shine”

Meanwhile, your male peers are confidently:

•  taking credit
•  touting their achievements
•  ensuring leadership knows their impact
•  requesting stretch assignments
•  documenting their wins

Hard truth:

 👉 Your work does NOT speak for itself. You must speak for your work.

The Fix:

Walk into your end-of-year performance review with a Success List that includes:

=> metrics you influenced

=> major wins

=> praise from clients or colleagues

=> expanded responsibilities

=> skills added

=> leadership moments

=> high-pressure situations navigated well

👉 If you don’t advocate for your success, you leave space for someone else’s narrative to take over.

Mistake #2: Going Into the Review Emotionally Unprepared

Even the strongest women feel their heart rate spike walking into a review. We grow up hearing messages like:

•  “Don’t be difficult.”
•  “Don’t be emotional.”
•  “Don’t upset anyone.”
•  “Don’t sound arrogant.”

So when constructive criticism comes, many women internalize it:

•  “I failed.”
•  “They’re disappointed in me.”
•  “Maybe I’m not as good as I thought.”
•  “I should’ve worked harder.”

Men, by contrast, tend to interpret feedback as tactical and unemotional:

 “Good to know. What’s next?”

The Fix:

=> Prepare emotionally by:

=> practicing calm, neutral responses

=> planning your questions

=> grounding your breathing

=> separating your identity from your performance

=> treating feedback as information, not a verdict

Use phrases like:

=> “Thank you — what does success look like in that area?”

=> “Can you share a specific example so I can better understand the gap?”

=> “Here’s how I plan to address that moving forward.”

👉 This is confidence. Not defensiveness.

Mistake #3: Underestimating the Power of Self-Advocacy

Women often fear that self-advocacy sounds:

 - pushy

 - self-promotional
- aggressive
- arrogant

But here’s what leaders actually think when a woman advocates for herself clearly and confidently:

=> She is committed to growth.
=> She knows her worth.
=> She understands the business.
=> She is leadership material.

🚨 The only time self-advocacy backfires is when a woman hasn’t prepared and therefore sounds unsure.

The Fix:

Bring in:

=> a clear value statement
=> a promotion timeline you want to raise
=> a list of expanded responsibilities
=> data showing your impact
=> goals for the upcoming year

Then say:

 “Based on the work I’ve taken on this year and its outcomes, I’d like to discuss positioning myself for promotion within the next review cycle.”

It’s not arrogance. It’s strategy.

Mistake #4: Accepting Vague Feedback Without Challenging It

Women frequently walk out of reviews with feedback like:

 “Be more confident.”

 “Improve communication.”

 “Increase visibility.”

 “Be more assertive.”

 “Work on executive presence.”

These phrases are subjective, often gendered, and impossible to execute without specifics.

Men are far more likely to say:

 “What does that mean?”

 “Can you be more specific?”

 “What would improvement look like to you?”

The Fix:

Respond to vague feedback with:

=> “Can you give me a concrete example of what this looks like in practice?”
=> “How would I know when I’m demonstrating this effectively?”
=> “What specific situations did you have in mind?”

👉 You turn ambiguity into action and protect yourself from inaccurate or biased assessments.

Mistake #5: Not Bringing Up Your Expanded Role or Invisible Work

Women often take on tasks that benefit the team but remain invisible on paper:

•  onboarding new hires
• mentoring
• organizing team activities
• handling crises
• emotional labor
• supporting colleagues to meet deadlines
• stepping into gaps without recognition

Men get rewarded for stepping up.  Women get taken for granted.

The Fix:

Document your invisible work and articulate its impact.

Example:

 “This year, I informally mentored two new team members and supported the team through three urgent project deadlines. These contributions improved workflow reliability and helped close X project on time.”

If you don’t name it, leadership assumes it “just gets done.”

Mistake #6: Thinking You Need to Be 100% Ready Before Asking for a Raise or Promotion

Women tend to wait until they’ve mastered every requirement.

Men ask when they’re at 60%.

Research confirms:

 👉 Women apply for promotions when they meet 100% of the criteria.

 👉 Men apply when they meet 60%.

This delays women’s advancement by YEARS.

The Fix:

If you’ve taken on work aligned with the next level, you deserve the title and compensation of that level.

Say:

 “I’ve been performing responsibilities aligned with the next-level role, and I’d like to discuss aligning my title and compensation accordingly.”

That’s professionalism, not audacity.

Mistake #7: Forgetting That a Review Is a Two-Way Conversation

This is your career. Your future. Your growth.

 You are not there to sit silently while being evaluated.

The Fix:

Ask strong questions:

=> “What are the expectations for me at the next level?”
=> “What skills should I prioritize next year?”
=> “What upcoming opportunities would allow me to demonstrate readiness for advancement?”
=> “How can I better support the team’s objectives?”

👉 These questions reposition you as a strategic partner — not a passive participant.

Your End-of-Year Performance Review Is Something to Leverage, Not Fear.

Women often walk into reviews with anxiety. But the most successful women I’ve mentored walk in with:

•  purpose
• preparation
• data
• strategy
• confidence

👉 Your end-of-year review is not the finish line. It’s your launch pad.

You deserve to walk into it — and out of it — fully empowered.

Learn More About Career Advancement for Women.

I’m Brigitte Gawenda Kimichik, JD, author of Play Smart: Playground Strategies for Success in a Male-Dominated Workplace and Play Nice: Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace, two essential guides for women navigating male-dominated workplaces.

To learn more about my books and how they can support your career growth:

Play Smart → 

Play Nice →